Dear Suci, Congratulations!

This is a moment.
When you find yourself feels really hard to get off from the bed. When your Joy, Sadness, Mad, Anxiety, and even the Disgusting, disappear. When you feel really hard to sleep. When you find nothing interesting. When you feel like you always waste your time.
No, you never feel that you regret something. Or anything. Or everything.
It is just a feeling of being like… nothing.

On the other hand, you are not a type of person who can open your heart to everyone. Not also a person who can easily share pains or failures. You think that nobody will believe them. You just want to share them and be listened by the one that you really believe.
Maybe she’s right. It is just a moment that everybody is feeling now. So yours is just the same, so that you just have to wake up and do something, NOW.
And maybe he’s also right. You should just know what you really want.
Maybe, but…

Dear Suci, I just want to tell you this: Congratulations!

You have arrived in this step. The step when you finally heard this voice. The voice that tells you: you’re not good enough, that you’re s*ck, and you’ll never amount to anything.

Congratulations, because you notice it. Because you feel uncomfortable. Because you feel that it’s not you. Congratulations, because you don’t make yourself feel pleasant with it, and then be a real monster.

Because my dearest Suci, that voice is ONLY a troll. The worst troll that lives in your head. And now, when you finally notice it, please don’t feed the troll. Please don’t disappear.

Wake up. You have many options to do:
Open your journal, notes, agenda, that book, anything. Pick your snowman. Write it down.
Find some blank papers. Pick your lovely pencil. Doodle them.
Grab your scissor, glue, cutters, origami, kokoru, anything. Cut, flip, patch. Make them something.
Open your sketch book. Choose your favorite colours. Draw.
Read again your favorite novels. Write down your favorite line.
Watch again your favorite film. Repeat and repeat again your favorite scene.

And please don’t forget: you can always call home, you can also always come back home.

And you also should not forget:
You can always go take your wudhu…
Open that book…

And then you will find yourself ready…
For everything.

The last,
Believe me. Nobody is leaving you. They are always there. As long as you call them and let them feel you..

My dearest Suci,
Please be grateful, every time.
Because, you are priceless.
Something big is waiting.
They are waiting.

Love you,

You have promised, right?

Untuk menjadi hebat, dan menghebatkan.
To be a superb.

Untuk menjadi hebat, dan menghebatkan.
To be a superb.


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